Happy New Year Everyone….. yeah I realise I am a few weeks late!

Well it has been about a couple of months since I posted anything and thats due to major changes in my life. After I came back from my holiday in November, I came back to a job I had been unsure of whether I wanted to continue in. Without going into to much detail, I had been at this job for over 3 years and numerous amounts of promises had been made and broken with regards to the job and I had finally reached the end of my tether. So I made the decision to quit my job, without having another job to go to. It wasn’t an easy thing to decide but as my partner said, “if the pain of staying in the job is worse than your fear of leaving without another job, then just do it”. Therefore, in mid-December I handed in my months noticed and I finished on Friday 13th January (unlucky for some, hoping luck for me!). It was the best decision I could have made and although unemployment and trying to find a new job is not easy, I know I am happier knowing than I was a few months ago! I have started a course in event management which is the area I wish to go into and I am working very hard on finding a job and studying. Having this time with work has also allowed me to really work on myself, my fitness and my health.

I started my fitness journey in October 2014, the day I moved out of my parents house and into a flat with my partner. This was the first time I had really lived away from my parents without them helping out with rent/bills/money etc. I was excited to whip myself into shape and it started well. However, disaster struck in 2015. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in November 2015 having had pains in my hands that became worse the more I exercised. This led to a very on and off exercise regime. Although I went through the weeks and the motions, a lot of weeks I only did maybe 1 or 2 sessions and sometimes I would skip a week. So January 2016 came around and with medication the pain was becoming more manageable and I played it safer with weights. And my year did start well, I joined the Kayla Movement and worked out well until about week 4 and then I had a week off due to illness, went back to exercise the following week for 2 weeks and then “fell off the wagon” again. This became a regular thing and although my body was looking better and I was feeling fitter, 4 weeks seemed to be the most I would do before having a break. For some reason I couldn’t keep going. Then in July 2016, a day came that I had been dreading for a while, my Grandma died. I was so close to her, she was such an important woman in my life and for her to go, although it was the right time, was so hard and it still remains hard to this day. My exercise took a major dip after that and for weeks I would set alarms at 6 in the morning to get up for the gym and would turn it off and not go. It got to the point where my partner said “either get up for the gym or turn the alarm off”, so I turned the alarm off.

Fast-forward to the day I gave my notice in. I walked out of my bosses office a whole new woman with a determination to get myself sorted, deal with my grief and learn to love myself and who I am. I started slowly going back to the gym in the lead up to Christmas, doing a couple of resistance trainings a week and a couple of LISS.  The first week of January, I did the pre-training of BBG and then on Monday 9th January, along with a lot of other ladies around the world, I started the Kayla movement once again.

As of today, I have just completed six weeks of the 12 week challenge and have completed every resistance and every LISS asked (apart from one resistance in week 3!). I feel fitter, more confident and happier with myself and I am seeing major changes in not just my body but in my attitude to life. I also started flexibility classes at the beginning of January, every Wednesday night I head to Moorgate for an intense hour long stretch session. Not only are my splits showing major improvement, but I have made wonderful friends from this class, its a joy to go to every Wednesday. The extra deep stretching for a hour really helps with my aches and pains from the gym sessions and I would really recommend something like this or similar for everyone committing to a gym lifestyle, it is amazing what 1 hour deep stretch session can do for you and your body.

I can’t promise I won’t stop my exercise if something happens, I have no idea what the future holds and I struggle with keeping to the gym everyday and finding the motivation. However, the fact that I have kept up six weeks is major for me. I have a different outlook this year that I have never had before. I am taking it one week at a time, even one day a time. I don’t shame myself if I don’t go to the gym one day because I am just not in the right headspace. I have had several indulgent evenings with friends and not worried about the extra calories. Life is too short to worry about such things. I no longer get annoyed when I see other people who have had major progress in 4 weeks whilst mine is smaller changes and not as noticeable. These achievements are huge for me, to stop chastising myself and making me feel like I am failing at life. I have started to actually look forward to my gym sessions. Yes the spare time whilst I look for a job is helping as I can spend longer at the gym and not go to the gym so early as I would be if I had a full time job. However, I am hoping this dedication and new found love of exercise is going to continue and give me motivation even when I do find a new job. I took this photo the other day because I was amazed at how much change I could see in the top part of my stomach. I even posted it to instagram…. another huge thing for me! It is little things like this that is helping my confidence soar and I am so proud of where I am and I am so looking forward to seeing how far I can push my body and the changes I can make. 🙂